I wish she could see...

       So today bio mom of the year ( heavy sarcasm)  broke my little guys heart, again.  Not only did she miss her visit, she didn't even have the heart, or courtesy to call.  So the parent aid came to the house and picked up the kids, took them all the way to the CPS office, waited for a while, and then had to bring them all the way home.  Poor middle monster was crushed.  I wish she could see what she does to this poor kid when she fails to show up.  I know I have blogged about this before but really.  What did she have to do that was SO important she couldn't make it to the visit.  She gets to see these kids only 4 hours a WEEK. If I only had 4 hours a week with my kid I would only miss a visit if I were dead.  And if I HAD to miss you can bet I would call to let them know, that way it wouldn't be so devastating.  Its not like she doesn't know he gets upset.  I have told her that he cries every time and she always acts like she feels bad about it but if she really felt bad she wouldn't miss so much. 
          On an up note, today was talk like a pirate day so I already had some fun activities planned.  We made some pirate jewelry and hats out of newspaper then we cuddled on the couch to watch Peter Pan.  Yay for distraction!  I would put in pics if I could but confidentiality will not allow it.  Just know he was WICKED cute in his paper hat and macaroni necklace with a big medallion on it!  I hope one day, when her babies belong to me and I get to share the joys of their wins and the happy times she finds this blog, and knows in her heart that I am writing about her, that it eats her away.  I hope she suffers for reading what she did to her baby girl and to her son.  I hope it keeps her up at night.  That may be a bad way to feel but I look at this great kid who just wants her to love him, I see him get up and happily put on his new Thomas the tank socks and then wait by the window for the truck to take him to see her,  and I see him bounce when the truck arrives.  Pure joy to go and show her his new socks... Then I see him on my door step face covered in tears and little lip quivering because she had something more important to do than be his mother.  That's the kind of thing that makes me wish she would just quit already.  But she is too selfish even to do that.   That is why I hate her.  And that is why when this goes to adoption she will never get to hear from us or see them again. Why would I open him up to such heart ache again?