Good Things

    The kids are doing so well lately.  Adam is done with his crisis therapy and the baby is rolling over, and over, and over lol.  I think she might be teething because she was up every two hours last night and that is VERY unlike her.  She is serious about her sleep.  This morning her gums looked a little puffy.  Today they go on a visit with their mother.  The visits are good for Adam but kind of stressful for the baby.  Not like they used to be when she would cry in her sleep after or make me hold her ALL day.  But when she gets home she will want me to "wear" her.   When my son was born I didn't have a sling or a wrap or any of this baby wearing junk.  He was a typical happy baby.  He knew he was loved from the start and didn't really need that constant reassurance that I would be there.  Lee does.  She loves her sling, and if any of you are considering foster or adoption of a baby I suggest you get one!  So handy.  I can pack her around all day long and still have the use of both my arms.  She is such a snuggle bug!  Lord knows I love this baby!  I must pray 100 times a day that I get to keep her.   That I get to keep both of them really.  They bring so much color and joy into my life I can not imagine it without them. 
    In our training class they told us to try to not get too attached.  Yeah, cause that is possible.  I am so beyond attached.  I worry I will be a disaster if they leave.  Typically the state makes a permanency decision after only 6 months.  However since mom is doing her steps to get them back just not quickly enough, and since what she did to the baby was so horrible, we have been put on a year plan.  This scares the crap out of me.  How can I raise these kids for a year and then possibly lose them?   And what about the kids?  Adam adores his mom and she adores him.  She is all about Adam.  So I think if he went home to her after a year he would be happy and safe with her.  But the baby is another thing.  The baby does not like her bio mom.  She likes me.  I am the only Mama she knows and I think it would destroy her to leave me.  Plus, I don't trust her bio mom as far as I can throw her.  I think that if she had a chance to get just Adam back she would wave her parental rights to the baby.  Only time will tell.  In the meantime I am going to love these babies like they are my own because while they are with me they are.